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Few Zoom calls have made me quite as self-conscious as my chat with Robert Biswas-Diener. An executive coach and psychologist, he recently coauthored a book on radical listening. Like many people, Id assumed that I was a pretty good listener, but what if Ive been doing it all wrong? By the end of the conversation, my fears have been confirmedof the half-dozen skills he describes, I demonstrate only half. The good news is that we can all improve, and the advantages appear to be endless. By lending a more attentive ear to the people we meet, we become better negotiators, collaborators, and managers, while enhancing our own mental health. It can be an antidote to many problems, says Biswas-Diener. Better listeners = better on the job Being a good listener is a lot more than staying quiet and periodically nodding politely. Theres a practice called active listening, and research confirms its one of lifes most valuable skills. Consider a study from 2024 by Guy Itzchakov at the University of Haifa in Israel and colleagues. The team first asked 1,039 workers across various industries to judge their colleagues listening skills by rating statements such as, When my colleagues listen to me, they genuinely want to hear my point of view and They show me that they understand what I say. Over the following five days, they found that these scores predicted each participants commitment to their organization, their emotional resilience after stressful events, and their willingness to cooperate with other employees. Feeling heard may be especially important in times of uncertainty. A survey by Tiffany Kriz, an associate professor of management and organizations at MacEwan University in Canada, for instance, has shown that bosses with better listening skills are far more effective at soothing feelings of job insecurity following layoffs. It is not just the people around us who will benefit. Itzchakov has found that people with enhanced listening skills enjoy better mental health through their closer connections with their colleagues. They are less likely to suffer work-related burnout, for example. The question is, how do we go about improving the habits that we have always taken for granted? Thats why I called Biswas-Diener, whose book on the subject, Radical Listening: The Art of True Connection, came out earlier this year. Your step-by-step guide to becoming a better listener The first step is practical: Eliminate as many distractions as possible. Close the door to your office, put your cell on silent, shut your laptopwhatever you need to focus solely on the person in front of you. No one likes being phubbed (phone snubbed) as you check your notifications. (Hands up: Im guilty of this.) Nows the time for the mental work, which begins by establishing your intention for the conversation: Do you want to be entertained or to learn something new? That’s going to guide what you’re paying attention to, he says. At the same time, you should identify your conversation partners intentions: Are they looking for advice, practical support, or compassion? Each will require a different kind of response. This principle, called optimal support matching, should prevent those awkward moments that could lead to misunderstandings. Remember: Part of being a good listener is knowing the appropriate thing to say based on what you heard while you were listening. In many conversations, you will need to navigate disagreement. This means raising your intellectual humility so that you dont carelessly dismiss the other persons point of view. Its not posing as if you have less worth than another person, but recognizing that your opinion may be limited and biased, Biswas-Diener says. And if you don’t like what the person’s saying, you can always be curious about them, he says. Listen, instead of looking for a fight. The psychological research shows that small signs of genuine interest in others views can be incredibly disarming. It both defuses the potential for conflict and encourages the other person to acknowledge their own doubts, so they are more receptive to your point of view. That may be because people tend to overestimate how much others are intent on changing their mind, and any display of open-mindedness will allay those fears. Being a humble, active listener, and simply asking someone why they have come to a particular judgement, can lower their defences, thus potentially making the communication more successful. Whenever possible, you should also validate the qualities that you admire. Maybe you don’t like their personality, but you can always acknowledge how honest, forthright, or reflective they are, Biswas-Diener says. Listen carefully to find something you can compliment. Finally, and perhaps most counter-intuitively, Biswas-Diener suggests listening and then actively interjecting at apposite moments. While this may seem to run against all good-etiquette guides, a few ecstatic interruptionsyes!, I was thinking the same!, I didnt know that can raise the energy of the conversation and emphasize your interest in what they are saying. For similar reasons, you can feel free to finish someones sentence for them. Even negative feedbacksuch as cutting in to explain that you have already heard the story beforeoffers proof that you are listening, whereas patient silence can seem cold, distant, or distracted. The speakers reaction will all depend on your timing and how much airtime you expect to take: Remember to balance any interjection with the all-important listening. If I jump in and jump out, it’s a completely acceptable interjection, says Biswas-Diener. The only time they’re not comfortable is when you grab the podium. An entire mindset shift Ive been practicing these skills for the three weeks since I first spoke to Biswas-Diener, and I have already noticed some of the benefits. Despite some reservations, Ive been braver at interrupting people mid-flow, and was pleasantly surprised to see the energy of the conversation rise as a result. Changing the way I listen changed the way both my conversation partner and I act during the discussion, in really productive ways. By mentally clarifying my intentions, I ave found that work calls are much more efficient and rewarding, and by demonstrating more curiosity in alternative points of view, I have found that successful compromises are now far easier to find. Biswas-Diener suggests that, like our physical muscles, these empathic abilities should build over time. You can even practice it when listening to radio interviews, and ask what the interviewer is doing well. Those subtle signs of humility, curiosity, and acceptance will soon become far more obvious to you. Youll start hearing listening, says Biswas-Diener. And by emulating them, you will soon build stronger social connections.
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E-Commerce
For generations, weve been taught that early equals disciplined and late equals lazy. But thats not biologyits a moral story disguised as science. As an expert in applied chronobiology, Ive spent more than 20 years studying how biological rhythms shape work and wellbeing. It turns out that about 30% of people are early chronotypes (morning types), 30% are intermediates, and 40% are late chronotypes (evening types). Yet most workplaces still run on early-riser timerewarding visibility over value, and hours over outcomes. When we align our schedules with our internal clocks, performance and motivation risebut it takes courage to be honest about what that looks like. The people most disadvantaged in our contemporary workplaces are night owls (like myself), whose performance peaks much later in the day. If you also aren’t at your best in the morning, heres how to talk with your manager about your circadian rhythm in a way that earns trust, not judgment. 1. Focus on results When you talk to your boss about your chronotype, make it about performance, not preference. Leadership coach, author, and former McKinsey partner Caroline Webbbest known for her book How to Have a Good Dayis a self-described extreme night owl. Early mornings were always difficult: At university, I skipped the 9 a.m. lectures and relied on self-study instead, she told me. It wasnt about lazinessit was about working when my brain was actually awake. That same awareness later became part of how she designed her professional rhythm. At the Bank of England, Webb found that if she started later, she could produce sharper analysis and more accurate forecasts. Rather than seeing that as a personal quirk, she framed it as a productivity advantage. Before you bring up your biological rhythm with your manager, choose your moment strategically. The best time is after youve delivered strong results or during a regular check-in about performancenot in passing or out of frustration. That way, the conversation becomes about how you can sustain excellence, not why you dislike mornings. You might say something like: My most focused work happens later in the day. If we can schedule key meetings or strategy sessions after 10 a.m., Ill be sharper and deliver stronger results. Webbs advice to other night owls captures it perfectly: If you frame it as a path to greater productivity, you get a better conversation, she says. Its not about being indulgentits about ensuring youre at your sharpest when it matters most. That kind of statement shifts the focus from comfort to contribution. It helps others see your rhythm not as a problem, but as a path to better performance. 2. Frame your rhythm as biological variation, not personal preference Another effective way to tell your boss that youre a night owl is to describe your rhythm the same way we already talk about other forms of human diversity. Neurodiversity has helped normalize cognitive differences at work; chronodiversity does the same for biological timing. You might say something like: Just as people think differently, people also function best at different times of day. Im a late chronotypemy peak focus comes later. If we can schedule my key work during my strongest cognitive hours, youll get better decisions and higher-quality output from me. This framing shifts the conversation away from comfort (I dont like mornings) and toward biology (My brain performs optimally at a different time). Leaders tend to respond more positively when a request is grounded in science, performance, and inclusion rather than habit or lifestyle. It also normalizes the conversation. Instead of asking for special treatment, youre highlighting a natural dimension of human variationone that future workplaces will increasingly recognize as essential to wellbeing, creativity, and sustained performance. 3. Ask targeted questions in your next job conversation If your current workplace leaves no space for flexibility, take your chronological rhythm seriously in your next opportunity. Ask questions that reveal how the organization really thinks about time: When do most team members start their day? Are meeting times flexible? How do you measure performanceby hours or by outcomes? These questions show that you understand your energy patternsand that youre intentional about delivering value when youre at your best. And if youre a leader yourself, consider this: Flexibility isnt indulgence, its intelligence. Teams that honor biological diversity make better decisions, experience less burnout, and sustain higher creativity across the day. Pretending to be a morning person might win short-term approval, but this kind of covering comes at a cost. Research shows that hiding aspects of who you are increases stress, reduces engagement, and harms creativity. When you fake an early rise, youre not just losing sleepyoure losing authenticity. Openness, on the other hand, builds credibility. It tells your boss you know how to manage your energy, your focus, and your performance. When more people dare to talk honestly about their biological rhythms, we move from moral judgment to biological understanding. And thats how real flexibilityand real performancebegin.
Category:
E-Commerce
Just like any new form of entertainment initially popular among kids and teenagers, video games got their share of suspicion, disdain, and even fearmongering. Today, they are a fully legitimate part of pop culture, but the narrative of video games being a waste of time is still alive. It’s highly unlikely to see a productivity guru advising you to play a video game. That said, as both a venture investor and a gamer, I insist that video games aren’t counterproductive. On the contrary, they help to develop skills that VCs, entrepreneurs, managers, and leaders need, while allowing you to take your mind off of stressors and recharge. My twin brother, Roman, and I have been avid gamers since childhood, when we played The Lost Vikings (1993), Disneys Aladdin (1993), Doom (1993), and Quake (1996) together, sharing our family’s first computer. We gathered with friends to play Heroes of Might and Magic III (1999) and Warcraft III (2002) all day long. Now, at 35, we jointly manage GEM Capital, one of the largest gaming VC companies in the world. Weve carried our love for video games throughout our lives, and it has given us not only a deep domain expertise but also a set of core professional skills. To illustrate this, I’ve picked five of those skills and paired each with a game that, I believe, had the strongest impact: 1. Task Prioritization The game: Heroes of Might and Magic III What does a VCs workday look like? Team calls, board meetings with portfolio companies, new deals negotiations, investor check-ins, calls with auditors, syncs with legal and finance teams, communication with journalists, and the list goes on and on. Every single day the amount of tasks far exceeds the available hours. This workload isn’t for everyone, it demands smart time management and task prioritization. My Heroes of Might and Magic III gaming experience always helps me with this. The game constantly forces players to prioritize tasks. What should I do this turn: build a new unit-generating building or upgrade the castle? Seize a gold mine or capture an enemy fortress? Which hero should I send on which mission? Given the hundreds of hours I spent in this game, one could say I’d been preparing for my VC career since childhood. 2. Effective Communication The game: World of Warcraft As investors, we aren’t simply funding business ideas, we are always searching for the right peoplethe best founders and the best teams. Venture capital, at its core, is first and foremost about people and how we communicate with them. Our most critical work revolves around negotiations with partners, portfolio companies, and new targets. Do you know where else communication is vital? In multiplayer online games. For me personally, World of Warcraft (WoW) made the greatest contribution to my communication skills. I cant help but compare the work of a VC to that of a guild leader or raid leader in WoW. Both roles require a ton of communication: motivating your team, resolving conflicts, and setting priorities. With the number of raids I led in WoW back in school and university, you could say that dealing with people is in my blood. 3. Teamwork The game: League of Legends It’s hard to imagine a successful VC without a strong, ambitious team. That’s why teamwork is important. You need to be able to maximize the potential of everyone on your team and the synergy between them. In my opinion, theres no better analogy for teamwork in VC than the teamwork required in League of Legends (LoL). In both cases, a small group of like-minded individuals unites to achieve an ambitious goal. My experience of playing LoL with my school friends as a team 15 years ago has helped me tremendously in shaping my teamwork skills. 4. Quick decision making The game series: Doom, especially Doom Eternal A VC should be able to make the right decisions quickly. Hesitate on a hot deal, and it’s gone. A delay in decision-making at critical milestones can be fatal for portfolio companies. You need to think and act fast. The Doom series trained me to react quickly to unfolding events, dodging enemy attacks, moving strategically, and striking with speed. In hindsight, all the evenings spent playing the very first Doom with my dad and brother were the foundation for my rapid-reaction skills. 5. Persistence and resilience The game: Elden Ring Being a VC isn’t all rainbows and unicorn companies. Some investments aren’t going to perform as expected, some risks aren’t going to pay off, some negotiations aren’t going to be easy. It’s important to keep on track and remain enthusiastic when things don’t go your way. Fans of the Dark Souls series, and especially Elden Ring, will understand me here. The amount of time I spent on attempts to defeat the bosses in that game is countless. But, in the end, success always comes, and the efforts invested in it make it feel even sweeter. This game taught me to push myself, fight relentlessly, and never give up. I think this helps me immensely in my work now. Despite the common belief that video games are a waste of time, games have shaped a set of skills I heavily rely on as a VC. This includes smart task prioritization, effective communication, teamwork, quick reactions to unexpected challenges, and perseverance to reach the awards waiting ahead. On top of that, turning what I deeply love and enjoy into my job simply keeps me happy.
Category:
E-Commerce
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