|
|||||
The idea of the Queen Bee has been buzzing around corporate life for decades. Youve heard the story: A woman finally breaks into senior leadership, only to turn around and block other women from rising behind her. She is territorial, icy, maybe even hostile. She has clawed her way to the top, the logic goes, and she intends to stay there alone. It is a vivid image, and that is precisely why it has survived. It gives managers a neat explanation for gender inequity: maybe women just dont support each other. Maybe the problem isnt the system; maybe its . . . women. But that explanation falls apart the moment you look closely. A zero-sum world The term Queen Bee was coined by Graham Staines and his colleagues in a 1973 article in Psychology Today. The researchers observed a small number of senior women who appeared to distance themselves from other women in heavily male-dominated environments. Even in the original study, the behavior wasnt framed as spite. It was framed as adaptation. These women were navigating environments where there was room for exactly one of them to succeed. In a zero-sum world, survival strategies look a lot like coldness. In the 50 years since, the corporate world managed to turn a situational observation into a personality diagnosis. Yet the newest research makes one thing clear: the Queen Bee stereotype says very little about women, and a great deal about the cultures they are operating in. One of the striking pieces of recent evidence comes from a 2024 study published in the Journal of Business Ethics. It examined what happens when women leaders distance themselves from other women. The surprising finding wasnt that distancing happens; it was who pays the price when it does. Female subordinates showed lower feelings of belonging, lower leadership ambition, and higher intentions to leave. Male subordinates, by contrast, were unaffected. In other words, when the culture pressures a woman leader to blend in with the dominant group, the cost is absorbed by the women below her. The researchers are clear: the distancing originates not from rivalry, but from discrimination. Women who experience bias early in their careers often learn that aligning with the dominant (often male) culture is the safest path forward. That alignment can look like toughness, or hyper-competence, or refusing to mentor junior women because theyve been taught that visibility is dangerous. It is armor, not malice. When identity becomes a liability A broader 2024 literature review goes further, arguing that the term Queen Bee has become so misapplied that it obscures more than it reveals. The recommended term is self-group distancing, which describes how members of any underrepresented group may behave when identity becomes a liability. The behavior is well documented among racial minorities, first-generation professionals, LGBTQ+ employeesanyone who feels they have something to lose by being too closely associated with their own group. It is not a woman problem. It is a scarcity problem. And the scarcity is real. When leaders tell me about a Queen Bee, I often ask a single question: How many women are in the room where decisions are made? The answer is almost always the same: one, or maybe two. In those environments, it is hardly surprising that some women feel pressure to prove they are different from the stereotype of women as emotional, inexperienced, or not leadership material. Distancing becomes a way to signal, I am not like them. It is not pretty, but it is predictable. What is rarely acknowledged is how differently these dynamics play out when women are no longer tokens. Studies of global organizations show that when women hold multiple senior roles, sponsorship of women increases, not decreases. In firms with women CEOs, the next generation of senior women is larger. Leadership pipelines are healthier. And the Queen Bee patterns that managers fear become almost nonexistent. Put simply: when women stop being the only one, the motivation to distance evaporates. ‘Too soft’ To understand how this works on the ground, consider the experience of a leader. Early in her career, she worked under a woman who had a reputation for being harsh. Colleagues whispered that she was a classic Queen Bee. My client recalls thinking the same, until she learned that this leader had repeatedly been told she was too soft and not decisive enough, feedback her male peers never received. She had built a leadership style around eliminating any sign that could be read as feminine. Her high standards werent meant to sabotage other women; they were meant to make sure no one questioned their competence. This is the part managers often misinterpret. Behaviors that look like ice can actually be fear. Behaviors that look like competitiveness can be self-protection. When conflict between women appears, people leap to the Queen Bee label. The story we tell changes the behavior we see. For managers who want a healthier culture, the task is not to root out Queen Bees. It is to remove the conditions that create them. That starts with representation. When there are enough women in senior roles, solidarity becomes easier than distance. But it also requires clearer evaluation systems, because vague criteria give stereotypes room to breathe. It requires rewarding sponsorship and collaboration, not just individual performance, because people invest in what gets recognized. And it requires noticing the small signals in daily life: who gets interrupted, who gets invited to meetings, whose mistakes are scrutinized. If you believe a senior woman is acting like a Queen Bee, the first question to ask is: What in this culture made distancing feel necessary? When leaders approach it this way, they stop treating womens behavior as a problem to fix and begin treating the culture as a system to redesign. The Queen Bee myth persists because it is simple. But workplaces are not simple, and people certainly are not. The truth is far less dramatic and far more useful: When the hive is hostile, bees protect themselves. When the hive is healthy, they support each other. That means the Queen Bee is not your warning sign about women. She is your warning sign about the workplace.
Category:
E-Commerce
Contract roles can feel like the perfect job setup: flexible hours, work-from-home perks, and a way to break into your dream company. For some, they also serve as a temporary solution until a more permanent position comes along. Yet sometimes when freelancers decide to transition to a full-time gig, their contract history can potentially come back to bite themeven when it shouldnt. In a job interview, employers might ask: Can you work effectively on a team? Can you take direction from a manager? Will you think about your work long term? Or they might not ask at all, but theyll still wonder. To be clear: Freelancing or contract work is work, of course. But if full-time employment is your goal, knowing how to address these concerns does matter in a job interview. Dont assume First, in a job interviewno matter which side of the table youre sitting onits essential not to make assumptions. Its important for hiring managers to be aware of assumptions they might have. Instead of assuming, ask very direct questions, says Phoebe Gavin, a career and leadership coach. Dont just assume they cant work a 9-to-5, or that theyre not willing to commit to a company long term. If youre a job seeker, when applying for roles and in interviews, get ahead of assumptions by addressing them head-on. If the employer is looking for a collaborative team member, share examples of how youve worked effectively with others in the past. The hiring manager may genuinely not be aware of how collaborative freelance or contract work can be. So for the person who’s being interviewed, don’t make any assumptions about what they know about your work, Gavin says. Can you work on a team? Freelancers often work more independently, but that doesnt mean you prefer to, or that you work entirely alone. After all, you probably send your work off to someone for review. If you thrive in a team environmentor even miss being part of a teamsay so. When working as a freelancer, there may have been times when your work has required working with multiple parties and collaborating with teams. Even if it was temporary for a particular project, make it really clear that that’s something you have experience with, Gavin says. Highlight specific examples from past projects where you successfully collaborated with others, showing that you can contribute effectively on a team. Career coach Patrice Williams Lindo recommends saying something like: I rebrand quickly into the teams operating model. That means understanding how decisions get made, who owns what, and where my work fits into the broader system. I dont operate in silos. I network intentionally across stakeholders so my work lands cleanly, on time, and without creating friction. Independence, for me, means high trust, not high isolation. Can you take direction? When looking for a new job, remember that youll most likely have a manager. If youre thinking, I don’t really need a manager; I can do the work without you managing me, that mindset can create challenges with the person providing direction. Showing that you can take direction demonstrates adaptability and immediately makes you a stronger candidate. Williams Lindo suggests saying something like: I dont need micromanagement, but I do respect structure, accountability, and feedback. My goal is to deliver in a way that strengthens leadership credibility, not competes with it. Can you think beyond the project at hand? Freelancers usually focus on the work in front of them and dont always have to think about long-term impact, but in a full-time role, youre expected to see the bigger picture. If thats something you do already, make sure you say that. For example, if you like to promote your work after its published, thats something worth highlighting. Williams Lindo suggests saying, Even when my engagement is project-based, my mindset is enterprise-level. I document decisions, build repeatable processes, and leave behind claritynot just deliverables. Im always thinking about how my work ladders up to longer-term outcomes, because recognition comes from impact, not just execution. Contract roles can help you land a full-time position if you want one. By addressing assumptions up front and showing that you can collaborate, take direction, and think beyond individual projects, you signal that youre ready to thrive in a full-time role. Freelance experience is real work, and it matters. When presented strategically, it can showcase your impact and position you as a strong candidate for permanent opportunities.
Category:
E-Commerce
Whenever I tell people Im an auctioneer, there are inevitably two follow up questions: First: Do you talk really fast like those guys on TV? followed by a cartoonish imitation, complete with an imaginary microphone and a pseudo Southern accent. Second: Whats the most expensive thing youve ever sold? After two decades of auctioneering, the answer is usually something in the many millions. I typically just name the last item I sold for over a million dollars. Whether someone pictures a fast talking cattle auction or a refined British gentleman selling Picassos in black tie, auctioneers are assumed to do one thing: talk. A lot. Which is why most people are shocked to learn that the most powerful tool I like to use on stage isnt my voice at all. Its silence. When Im onstage in front of 500 people, yes, fast, energetic bidding can electrify a room. But in auctioneering, as in negotiation, the person who is comfortable with silence holds the advantage. Think about the last time you negotiated anything. The one who jumps to fill every uncomfortable silence often reveals the most. The one who sits in the quiet controls the pace. Lessons learned After years in the boardroom and on stage, here are the top three lessons Ive learned about how silence can capture the attention of any room: 1. When a room is talking, dont talk over it. Own the moment. If a crowd wont quiet down, talking louder rarely works. Instead, I smile and say, Ill wait until the room is quiet enough to hear me. The shift is immediate. People realize theyre missing something or they are being rude, and they stop. Once theyve realized Im willing to wait for them to stop talking before Ill start again the dynamic is shifted, and now they are paying attention. 2. Make your point, then stop talking. Many times when I am onstage with a new crowd I will ask the audience where I should start the bidding. Instead of throwing out a number that could intimidate half the room, I will say to the audience who wants to start the bidding? When the person raises their hand Ill ask where are we starting the bidding tonight? and then I simply wait . . . 9 out of 10 times the person will come in at a higher level simply because they dont know where I plan to start and want to be sure they dont announce a low bid. Youll be amazed how often the other side rushes to fill the space, usually revealing exactly what you need to know. 3. Silence raises more money than any speech ever could. During the paddle raise portion of a charity auction paddle raise, Im not offering a vacation home or a puppy. Im simply asking for donations. When I begin at the highest level, say, $25,000 the room gets very still. People shift in their chairs. They look at each other. They wait. But more importantly, I wait. And sometimes Ill throw in a joke to show them how at ease I am in the silence Ill wait just long enough until it starts to get really uncomfortable and then I smile and wait a little longer. Inevitably someone will raise their hand simply to break the tension. Its no concern for me; I will wait all night. Thats the power of silence: It moves people to act. The next time you are in an important meeting, giving a speech, or presenting on stage, remember the power of silence and use it to your advantage.
Category:
E-Commerce
All news |
||||||||||||||||||
|
||||||||||||||||||