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To quote Vince Vaughn in Four Christmases: “You can’t spell families without lies.” That’s a cynical view, for sure, but when it comes to talking about one particular thing around the family dinner table at the holidays, it might be especially true. That thing? Work. According to a recent survey, young people are seriously bending the truth when it comes to talking to family members about their professional lives. The survey of 2,000 young U.S. adults (ages 21 to 35) from the digital skills course provider Elvtr found that a third have bailed on family events simply to avoid conversations about their jobs or career progress. Even more say they have stretched the truth: A staggering 58% of young professionals have lied about their jobs, whether that means downplaying or exaggerating their success. Interestingly, there’s a pretty big gender divide when it comes to how young people misrepresent their work life. Men were about twice as likely as women to inflate their success while talking to family. Women, meanwhile, downplayed their income, success, or responsibilities. Per the report, if a promotion or raise occurred, “some women reported understating their accomplishments around relatives, whereas men more often admitted to inflating theirs. Talking about jobs seems to get more stressful the more infrequently people see their families, which is why holiday visits can stir up so much anxiety. Those who spend time with family only once a year reported stress at a higher rate: 44% of those who saw their relatives annually said they were anxious about work chat, while only 25% of those who saw their families more regularly shared the concern. Roman Peskin, CEO of Elvtr, says that a big part of why people lie to their families about work over the holidays may have to do with sibling rivalry. All the sibling comparisons and proving to your grandma that youve made it in the big city add up fast. Whats striking is that the influence doesnt stop at the dinner table,” Peskin stated in a press release. About 55% of respondents report that such comparisons happen sometimes, and 19% say they happen frequently. The CEO also notes that young people allow the weight of family approval to dictate their work decisions at a surprisingly high rate. Nearly half (45%) have considered or made career changes due to family expectations. And 22% would actually sacrifice their dream job in favor of family approval. “So maybe skip the classic ‘Why arent you a doctor yet?’ or ‘Your cousin just got promoted’ lines this Christmas,” Peskin urges. “Well-meaning advice can push young adults down paths that arent theirs to take.” Likewise, the anxiety seems more intense for the youngest workers, perhaps because they are just starting out in their careers and feel more pressure to show their success. (Or maybe it’s because they’re the anxious generation.) Overall, 35% are very or somewhat stressed about the conversation, and 42% in their 20s are stressed. Only 29% of those in their 30s say the same; suggesting that the older one gets, the less inclined that person may be to care deeply about their family’s take on their job. While job questions can be stressful, young people can rest easy. Eventually, family members will switch to the dreaded “So, when are you giving us a grandbaby?”
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This story first appeared in Advisorator, Jareds weekly tech advice newsletter. Sign up to get more insights every Tuesday. On a recent evening, I had a mild panic after trying to call my wife and repeatedly getting the same error: Your call could not be completed as dialed. She was supposed to come home late that night from an out-of-town trip with some old friends, but I hadnt heard from her that day and couldnt recall the timing of her flight. If her phone was merely in Airplane mode, my calls should have gone to voicemail instead of failing to connect outright. In the end, it was just a random network connectivity glitch, solved by a reboot after my wife got off the plane. But as a member of the in-law family group chat was quick to point out, I could have avoided this brief feeling of unease by simply tracking my wifes location through her phone. Of course, Im well aware of the location-sharing features that smartphones offer. Apple and Google both make it easy to let friends and family track your whereabouts, which in turn gives those companies valuable location data (and, in Apples case, reinforces the social pressure to have an iPhone). My wife and I have just never wanted to track each other this way, having agreed that itd be creepy for either of us to do so. This weekends travel blip did not change our minds. Part of the problem is that to enable these features, your phones mapping app must check your location constantly, not just when youre looking up a business or getting directions. But the bigger concern is simply about personal privacy, and being able to go somewhere without it becoming anyone elses businesseven people you know and trust. I can see the other side of the argument: Youd regret not having this feature when you really need it, and its not like you have anything to hide. True, but thats always the kind of argument tech companies use when a product erodes personal freedoms. As a result, you can no longer walk down the street without being monitored through neighbors doorbell cams, and pretty soon you might be recorded by anyone wearing a pair of sunglasses. Meanwhile, the entire ad-supported tech economy revolves around being so invasive that it feels like your phone is recording you, which it turns out people find unsettling even when theyve done nothing wrong. While I cant control those larger dynamics, I can at least second-guess whether my own fears justify yet another layer of surveillance. No judgment if you come to a different conclusion, but Im not ready to make that leap even after some momentary nervousness. (Ask me again about this in couple years, though, when my kids have smartphones and are old enough to get into actual trouble.) How to see whos tracking your location Location sharing between iPhone users: To find out who can see your location, open Apples Find My app and head to the People tab. Turn off location sharing by tapping a persons name and selecting Stop sharing. If you do want to share your whereabouts with another iPhone user, there are several places to do so: In the Find My app: Under the People tab, tap the + button, select Share My Location, then select one or more contacts. Via iMessage: Tap + in any chat window, select Location, and choose how long to share. In the Family Sharing menu: Youll find this under Settings > Family > Location Sharing. Selecting a person here will also share the location of all your Find My-compatible devices, including Apple Watches, iPads, and AirPods. In Apple Maps: Swipe down and select Share Location. This only shares your current location and does not automatically update. Location sharing is indefinite when enabled through the Family Sharing menu. Note that once youve shared a location with someone, they can set up notifications for each time you leave an area, arrive at a place, or fail to show up at a location during a set schedule. Your approval is only needed for recurring alerts, not one-time notifications. As an alternative to sharing your location indefinitely, consider sharing for just one hour or the rest of the day. You can choose this option in the Find My app or iMessage, but not the Family Sharing menu. Location sharing for Android and Google Maps users: The Location Sharing menu in Google Maps. Google has its own location sharing system that works across Android and iOS. If you have an iPhone and arent sharing through Apples Find My app, you ay still be sharing through Google Maps instead. Heres how to see who can track you via Google Maps: In the Google Maps app (iOS and Android): Tap on your profile picture, then select Location Sharing. (Those youve shared with in the Find Hub app will also appear here.) In the Find Hub app (Android only): Just look under the People tab. (Those youve shared with in Google Maps will also appear here.) Location sharing in the Find Hub app for Android. If you do want to share your location with others, you can do so by hitting the + button in the menus above. Both allow you to share for one hour, the rest of the day, or indefinitely, while the Find Hub app has an additional option to share for a limited number of hours. As with Apples system, anyone who can see your whereabouts can also set up alerts for when you leave or arrive at a location. Youll get an email when this happens, but the only way to disable it is to stop sharing entirely. This story first appeared in Advisorator, Jareds weekly tech advice newsletter. Sign up to get more insights every Tuesday.
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At the Exceptional Women Alliance, we enable high-level women to mentor each other to achieve personal and professional happiness through sisterhood. As the nonprofit organizations founder, chair, and CEO, I am honored to interview and share insights from thought leaders who are part of our peer-to-peer mentoring. This month, I introduce you to Malika Begin, the CEO and founder of Begin Development, an organization development firm based in Malibu, California. Known for her signature approach to building heart-centered, high-performing cultures, Malika partners with leading organizations to strengthen executive teams, design transformational leadership programs, build cross-functional trust, and create systems where people and performance thrive together. Malika believes the most effective leaders of the future will not only embrace technology but will also deepen their humanity. In her words, Self-awareness isnt softits strategic. Q: Everyones talking about AI, productivity, and innovation. Why talk about self-awareness right now? Malika Begin: Because the more the world automates, the more human leadership matters. AI can replicate skills, but it cant replicate self. When everything is shifting around you, knowing who you areyour values, your patterns, and your impactbecomes your anchor. You have to be clear on your motivators, how you engage with others, and how you distinctly move through the world. AI can replicate skills, but it cant replicate self. Brené Brown often says that leadership used to be about muscle, then brains, and now its about heart. I couldnt agree more. The heart of leadership is self-awareness. Its empathy. Its the courage to show up as you are. The leaders who know themselves and are committed to continued growth and development make better decisions, build stronger teams, and create workplaces where people actually want to stay and invest. Q: Youve said that professional assessments are mirrors, not boxes. How does that fit into this idea of human and heart-centered leadership? Malika: Tools like CliftonStrengths, DiSC, Strengths Deployment Inventory, or Enneagram dont define you; they describe you. They give you language for what you already sense about yourself. The point isnt to label people but to understand patterns: how you lead, how you communicate, how you react under stress. That insight is gold right now. When you can name your wiring, you can also recognize it in others. Thats what builds trust, belonging, and compassion, everything that makes a team feel human and valued again. The value isnt in the label, its in the insight. Q: So, self-awareness is also about connection? Malika: Completely. Self-awareness is the gateway to empathy, and empathy is the gateway to performance. Gallup found that teams that focus on their strengths every day are six times more engaged and 12% more productive. But thats only part of the story. Leaders who understand their own style and the styles around them create psychological safety, clearer communication, and faster trust, which directly translates to lower turnover, higher collaboration, and stronger results. People dont just work better; they work together better. In a business environment where retention, engagement, and innovation drive profit, that kind of relational intelligence has real ROI. You cant automate trust. You have to build itand self-awareness is where it starts. If AI is scaling data, then self-awareness is how we scale connection. We talk a lot about psychological safety, but it starts with emotional honesty. You cant create a sense of belonging if youre disconnected from yourself. Q: You tell leaders, Stop auditioning for roles that were never meant for you. What do you mean by that? Malika: Its freedom. When you know who you are, you stop wasting energy trying to be everything to everyone. You make decisions that align with your values. You build relationships that align with your strengths. In a world thats constantly shifting, self-awareness is your competitive edge. Author Tasha Eurich told the Harvard Business Review in a podcast that self-awareness is the meta-skill of the 21st century. The best leaders arent defined by certainty; theyre defined by clarity. Q: Whats one practical way to start developing this skill? Malika: Write your superpower statement. Its one or two sentences that capture you at your besthow you show up and the value you bring. Something like: Im at my best when Im focused on possibilities and relationships. My positivity helps others feel seen and confident in their own strengths. Its not bragging. Its clarity. And clarity builds confidence. Clarity is contagious in your organization, and its the thing organizations need now more than ever. Q: If you had to summarize your philosophy of leadership in one line? Malika: When you know yourself, you stop performing and start connecting. The future belongs to leaders who lead with heart, who pair self-awareness with empathy, courage, and authenticity. Machines might build efficiency, but humans build meaning and connection. The meaning and connection are everything. Larraine Segil is founder, chair, and CEO of the Exceptional Women Alliance.
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