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Heres a common pattern in my house. See if it seems familiar to you. After my husband showers, he often forgets to put his dirty clothes in the hamper. This drives me batty, so I remind him to please pick them up. Again and again and again. Weve been married for 15 years now and the result of all my nagging appears to be exactly zilch. Half the time I go in the bathroom there is a ball of socks and underwear on the floor. My husband is an otherwise thoughtful and considerate guy. So whats going on? According to psychology research, the problem likely isnt him. Its my belief that nagging is an effective strategy to get another person to change their behavior. The psychology of why nagging doesnt work We have a perception that we wont get what we want from the other person, so we feel we need to keep asking in order to get it, psychologist Scott Wetzler explained to The Wall Street Journal. But rather than prompting change, nagging causes people to feel demeaned and withhold the desired behavior. The nagger then nags more and resentment builds. This dynamic can kill a romantic relationshipstudies find that, unsurprisingly, a lot of nagging is associated with low relationship satisfactionbut its equally useless between parents and kids, cofounders, or bosses and employees. So what works better to get someone to actually change their behavior? A new study has a suggestion. But, be warned, if youre stuck in a pattern of habitual nagging, it will probably feel counterintuitive. The jujitsu mind trick that actually changes behavior After years of low-level laundry conflict, I admit the last thing I feel inclined to do is thank my husband the one time in a dozen that his clothes end up in the hamper. But according to a new study out of the University of Toronto recently published in Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, when it comes to changing his behavior, gratitude would beat nagging. The research was conducted by psychologist Natalie Sisson and colleagues and consisted of three separate studies looking at the connection between expressions of gratitude and behavior change in couples. One study asked 151 couples to keep a daily diary of their interactions around some change sought by one member of the pair. These diaries showed that the more a member of the couple felt their partner was grateful for their efforts to change, the more likely they were to make further adjustments. After nine months, partners who felt their better halves were most grateful had made the biggest changes. Taken together, all the findings suggest that, if you ask your partner to change something about themselves or their behavior, and they say they are willing to try, being grateful will help them to develop their own motivation to make that change, making it more likely to happen, writes the British Psychological Societys Research Digest, summing up the results. Easy to explain, harder to implement In some sense, thats intuitive. When you praise someone for their efforts, even if theyre minimal, they feel positive about you and themselves. When you nag them, the opposite happens. Which scenario do you think is more likely to result in someone putting in more effort? But my personal experience at least suggests that, in the heat of the moment, this jujitsu mind trickpraising faint signs of improvement even when you feel like complainingcan be hard to muster. The last thing I want to do when I finally spot one of my husbands socks in the hamper is to offer him kudos. Its hard not to think about the hundreds Ive had to deposit there before. If you care about effectiveness more than venting, though, psychology suggests this is the way to go. Positive reinforcement works best to train a puppy. It also apparently works best to train people. Bigging others up with gratitude is more likely to motivate them to change their behavior than tearing them down with nagging. Other tricks to help someone change their behavior What else can you do to help other people change their behavior? This isnt the first study to dig into ths question. Experts have other ideas that may complement a liberal application of gratitude. BJ Fogg, director of the Persuasive Technology Lab at Stanford, has suggested catching a ride on the other persons motivational wave. When you notice the other party seems keen to make the desired change, step up and offer them concrete support. If you want someone in your life to exercise more, that could mean going to tour gyms with them when they express an interest. Or it could mean sitting down with your perpetually disorganized employee and walking them through a new calendar system when they come to you for help. Another idea, suggested by psychologist Devon Price, is digging into what barriers or obstacles might be preventing a person from changing. If my husbands laundry delinquency is a result of being rushed in the morning, maybe we could switch around some chores to ease his time crunch. If your colleague is putting off a task because of fear of failure, additional training or support will probably work better than scolding. Finally, time-use expert and author Laura Vanderkam says that, if you want others to change, you should first talk about your own self-improvement projects. If a direct report is struggling with time management, for instance, she advises walking them through your own diary as a way to get a conversation about tradeoffs and challenges started. Step one: Give up the nagging What all of these experts agree on is that if you really want someone to change their behavior, nagging might relieve some of your frustration. But its not going to actually work. Try gratitude, support, and open dialogue instead. By Jessica Stillman The opinions expressed here by Inc.com columnists are their own, not those of Inc.com. This article originally appeared in Fast Companys sister publication, Inc. Inc. is the voice of the American entrepreneur. We inspire, inform, and document the most fascinating people in business: the risk-takers, the innovators, and the ultra-driven go-getters that represent the most dynamic force in the American economy.
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E-Commerce
You may think working hard, showing initiative, boosting your skill set, and being a team player is what it takes to be noticed to get promoted. But even with all these notable wins and strides, the call to a higher position often never comes. The reality of being repeatedly passed over is frustratingand such a promotion plateau can leave you questioning whats really within your control. To learn more about the concept, Fast Company asked three career experts for advice on how to handle a stagnant job path . . . as well as what you can do to add some momentum to your promotion game plan. What exactly is a promotion plateau? The most significant telltale sign is the feeling of stagnation with ones career. This can include feeling like a promotion is coming slower than anticipated, ones skills are not improving, or that one is no longer being challenged in their role, says Ryne Sherman, chief science officer at Hogan Assessments, a personality insights provider based in Tulsa. Typically, a promotion plateau results from the organizational structure of a business with barriers of advancement: hierarchy, red tape, poor structural systems in place, even budget constraints. In some cases, an employees apathy and lack of transferable skills due to these structural challenges can affect the possibility of being promoted. Whatever the reason, if you cannot see a clear path for advancement in your organization, you may be at a promotion plateau, Sherman says. Many large, long-standing organizations have built-in promotional structures that are reliable and predictable in nature. But if you work for smaller, midsized, or younger organizations, they may not have reliable promotional steps built into their system, says Sherman. So you might have to get a bit introspective instead. Another place to look is in your gut, he also says. Ambitious employees who feel they have reached a promotional plateau will begin to feel dissatisfied with their work. The upside of hiring ambitious workers is that they are often highly engaged and productive, continues Sherman. The downside? Organizations without a plan for them will struggle to retain talent. The warning signs Erin Pash, a Minneapolis-St. Paul-based CEO and founder of Pash Company, a social health incubator, offers the following red flags that signal youre approaching a promotion plateau: A lack of new responsibilities or challenging assignments Annual reviews that feel like carbon copies of previous years Watching peers or junior colleagues advance more quickly Receiving no substantive discussions about career development during evaluations Feeling intellectually unchallenged and professionally stuck Minimal or no exposure to strategic company initiatives A sense of professional invisibility within the organization Its a persistent sense that your career has hit an invisible wall, despite your continued dedication and competence, says Pash. Surmounting the plateau It requires a multifaceted approach, says Pash, and a commitment of effort and action is expected. Broaden your skills. Invest in your own skill set and accomplishments by pursuing relevant certifications in your field, and by taking online courses to expand technical and soft skills, Pash explains. Networkand network some more. Attend workshops and conferences to keep a pulse on your industry. These opportunities can help you develop skills that can keep you aligned with emerging industry trends, says Pash. Plus, attending such events can also build up contacts in your professional circle. Consider other internal roles. Explore lateral moves within different departments of your company which could offer more room for growth. Seek targeted feedback. Engage directly with supervisors to understand specific barriers to advancement, says Pash. Request a comprehensive performance review that outlines precise skills and achievements needed for progression, she continues. This candid dialogue transforms performance conversations from passive assessments to active career development planning. Leave when you have to. Sometimes you can do everything right and still hit a brick wall with your career. Some companies are like old boys’ clubs where your brilliant ideas and hard work feel about as useful as a screen door on a submarine, adds Pash.The smartest move isn’t always fighting the system, but recognizing when it’s time to take your talents somewhere that actually values what you bring to the table. All the skills you learn to overcome the plateau will absolutely prove to be helpful in the event you begin looking to jump to another ship. What are some ways of finding a growth-friendly organization? When evaluating whether an organization offers growth opportunities for its employees, Karen Burke, a knowledge adviser with the Society of Human Resource Management, says the following strategies are recommended: A review of a companys organizational chart can provide valuable insights. Companies with multiple hierarchical levels, such as associate, manager, director, and vice president, typically demonstrate clear pathways for advancement, says Burke. Assess a companys management structure. The presence of various management positions (e.g., assistant manager, manager, senior manager, assistant vice president, vice president) reflects distributed leadership and increases the likelihood of opportunities to progress into management roles, she points out. Evaluating a companys departmental structure is helpful as well. Organizations with a broad range of departments (such as marketing, operations, and finance), including specialized sub-departments, tend to offer greater internal mobility. This structure supports both vertical and lateral career progression, outlines Burke. Consider any evidence of business expansion, such as published information regarding business growth, new initiatives, or expanded networks. Whether identified through company communications or external research, this information often signals the potential for future opportunities, she adds. Identify project-based teams. Companies that utilize project-based or rotational teams frequently facilitate rapid skill development and provide avenues for promotion, notes Burke. Monitor a companys vacancy trends. Commonly, frequent or multiple job vacancies may indicate active hiring and suggest the possibility of upward mobility within an organization, Burke says. Or if youre up for the challengestart your own company But Burke also says another option, as opposed to adapting to the dynamics and timing that ead to promotions, is simply to go into business yourselfa drastic change, to be sure, but it can lead to drastic growth. Thats especially if you find yourself in a company or industry with inherently limited growth opportunities, says Burke. Again, sometimes growth-limiting organizational structures are simply too much for you (or anyone else) to overcome. Should you decide to explore this option, its recommended that comprehensive market research is conducted: evaluating your risk tolerance, and developing a strong business plan. Starting your own business can provide a platform to pursue professional opportunities that align with your aspirations and skill set. Entrepreneurship also offers the ability to shape your own career path, respond proactively to market needs, and foster both personal and professional development. This strategic approach will enable you to leverage your experience and expertise, resulting in greater autonomy and, possibly, career satisfaction, she says. Unfortunately, a promotion plateau is tricky, because there can be so many different factors limiting your growth. Fortunately, though, you do have a lot of options available to you, if youre willing to do your research and think outside the box. Based on my experience, employees who encounter a promotion plateau typically pursue several strategies to advance their careers, says Burke.
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E-Commerce
After writing more than one article a day for the last 23 years, Ive accumulated a body of text large enough to train an AI model that could convincingly write like me. With todays technology, it would not be difficult to build a system capable of generating opinions that sound as if they came from Enrique Dansan algorithmic professor that keeps publishing long after Im gone. That, apparently, is the next frontier of productivity: the digital twin. Startups such as Viven and tools like Synthesia are building AI clones of employees and executivestrained on their voices, writing, decisions, and habits. The idea is seductive. Imagine scaling yourself infinitely: answering emails, recording videos, writing updates, etc., while you do something else, or nothing at all. But seductive doesnt mean sensible. A world full of digital ghosts We are entering an era where professionals will not just automate tasks; they will replicate their personas. A company might build a digital copy of its best salesperson or customer service agent. A CEO might train a virtual twin to respond to inquiries. A university might deploy an AI version of a popular lecturer to deliver courses at scale. In theory, this sounds efficient. In practice, it invites a form of existential confusion: If the replica is convincing enough, what happens to the person? What does it mean to be productive when your digital version is the one doing the work? The fascination with cloning ourselves digitally reflects the same temptation that has driven automation for centuries: outsourcing not just labor, but also identity. The difference is that AI can now replicate the voice of that identity, both literally and metaphorically. What I would look like as an algorithm I could easily do it. Feed a large language model the millions of words Ive written since 2003every article, every post, every commentand youd get a fairly accurate simulation of me. It would probably have the right tone, vocabulary, and rhythm. It could write plausible articles, maybe even publish them at the same pace. But it would just miss the point. I dont write to fill a schedule or a database. I write to think or to teach. Writing, for me, is not an act of production, but of reflection. Thats why, as I explained recently in Why I let AI help me thinkbut never think for me, I never let AI write my articles for me. It makes no sense. Asking a model to think for me would defeat the very reason I sit down every morning to write. Of course, I use AI constantly: summarizing sources, checking facts, exploring counterarguments, and finding references. But I never let it finish my sentences. Thats the boundary that keeps my work mine. The illusion of scaling yourself The promise of digital clones is rooted in the same misconception: that replicating output equals replicating value. Companies now talk about bottling expertise or scaling human capital as if personality were a production line. But cloning output is not the same as extending competence. A persons professional value is not their words or gestures. Its their judgment, built over time through context and curiosity. A model trained on your past decisions may imitate your tone, but it cannot anticipate your evolution. Its a fossil, not a future. An AI clone of me could mimic my writing style from 2025. But if I let it publish, it would freeze me in that year forever, a museum piece updated daily. From productivity to presence Executives, entrepreneurs, and creators should be careful what they wish for. A digital twin may handle the inbox or record video briefings, but it also dilutes what makes leadership or creativity meaningful: presence. In Axioss coverage of CEO clones, many executives confessed that they liked their AI doubles but didnt fully trust them. The clone could handle repetitive interactions, but not empathy, timing, or nuancethe qualities that define credibility. Delegating those things to an algorithm is like sending a mannequin to a meeting: technically present, emotionally vacant. Corporate immortality and the ethics of legacy Theres also the question of what happens when your digital twin outlives you. Some companies already treat employee data as assets, so why wouldnt they treat their digital clones the same way? Imagine a firm continuing to deploy the AI version of a beloved leader or educator after theyve passed away. It might seem like a tribute, but its really a form of corporate necromancy: using a persons intellectual remains to perpetuate a brand. Its not hard to picture universities selling virtual professors or corporations reusing former CEOs as permanent avatars. In a recent academic paper on digital twins, researchers warned that the boundary between representation and possession is getting blurry. Who owns the clone? Who profits from it? When we replicate people as data objects, we risk turning identity into infrastructure, into something that can be licensed, monetized, or rebranded at will. The right way to use AI for personal scale There is, however, a rational way to use AI for scale: as augmentation, not imitation. I use AI every day as a thinking partner. It reads drafts, proposes structures, suggests sources, and critiques my logic. Its like having a tireless research assistant, one that never gets offended when I ignore its advice. But the act of reasoning, the decision of what to say and how to say it, remains mine. Thats the key difference between using artificial intelligence and becoming it. When we outsource thinking, we lose the feedback loop that makes us human: the constant process of reflection, revision, and growth. Professionals who embrace AI responsibly will amplify their reach without diluting their essence. Those who dont will eventually find their own voices indistinguishable from their machines. What businesses should learn from this For companies flirting with employee clones or AI avatars, heres a checklist worth remembering: Define purpose, not imitation. Dont build AI twins to replicate people. Build systems that free them to do higher-value work. Keep the human in the authorship loop. AI can assist in drafting, coding, and summarizing, but final judgment must remain human. Treat data as legacy, not property. Respect employee and creator autonomy. No one should become a perpetual digital asset without consent. Focus on augmentation, not automation. Use AI to enhance collective intelligence, not to eliminate the need for it. AI is not here to replace human expertise; its here to challenge how we apply it. The paradox of self-replication Soon, anyone with enough data will be able to build a digital version of themselves. Some will see it as immortality; others, as redundancy. I see it as a mirror, a test of what truly matters in human work. When my own digital twin can write a decent article about AI, I wont be impressed. The question isnt whether it can write. Its whether it can care, and whether it serves me for the purpose Im trying to achieve. And until algorithms can care about truth, nuance, curiosity, or purpose, Ill keep doing what Ive done for the last 23 years: Sit down, think, and write. Not because I have to, but because I still can.
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E-Commerce
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