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Below, co-authors Ruth DeFoster and Natashia Swalve share five key insights from their new book, The Fear Knot: How Science, History, and Culture Shape Our Fears and How to Get Unstuck. Ruth is a journalism professor and media scholar who teaches at the University of Minnesota, where she is also the Director of the Undergraduate Studies for the Hubbard School of Journalism and Mass Communication. Natashia is a neuroscience professor at Grand Valley State University in Michigan, where she teaches psychology and psychopharmacology. Whats the big idea? The Fear Knot explores our misguided human fears, from premature burials to GMOs, while explaining the real dangers out thereand why youre less likely to be afraid of them. With the right tools, we can all be better equipped to untie the fear knots misleading our behavior. Listen to the audio version of this Book Biteread by Ruth and Natashiabelow, or in the Next Big Idea App. 1. Fears are at least partially hardwired Not all fears stem from trauma, but most of them are built upon our most primal anxieties. Our bodies are naturally geared to experience fear, and rightfully so. The famous neuroscience patient, known by her initials, S.M., has a biological glitch that makes her unable to feel fear. While this may sound enjoyable, its incredibly dangerous. S.M. constantly finds herself in risky situations, like the time she was held up at knifepoint and responded by laughing at the criminal. S.M. shows us that sometimes fear is a necessary evil. It helps us avoid deadly scenarios and keeps us alive in a constantly evolving world. But our fears also make us jump to worst-case scenarios, setting us up to believe in conspiracy theories and fall prey to misinformation. Parents worry about their children, so they chide them about playing in the dirt, likely increasing their chances of developing an allergy by avoiding dust and dander. We fear sickness and work hard to treat our ailments. But by doing so, we spark the spread of antibiotic resistance, many times more deadly than the original diseases. We fear the fate of our world, and so we build backyard honeybee hives, creating an army of new competitors for the creatures that are actually vulnerable: wild bumblebees. Frauds and hucksters thrive on our instinctual fears, selling so-called cures like bleach as a treatment for everything from autism to HIV. But recognizing where those fears originate from can help. It can cause you to pull back from buying the untested treatment or trying out that new parenting technique that, while your neighbor vouches for it, is not backed by any science. While it may feel like your fears are driving your decision, you ultimately have the final say. 2. Fears are cyclical In much the same way that diseases spread, so do cycles of overblown fears, which sociologist Stanley Cohen referred to as moral panics. Throughout history, moral panics have cycled with surprising regularity, often tied to concerns about childrens safety. The Salem Witch Trials of the late 17th century alleged that witches were tormenting and even possessing local children, while the Satanic Panic of the 1980s picked up on similar themespromoting the myth that a cabal of Satan-worshipping pedophiles was operating out of American daycare centers. Even today, the QAnon conspiracy preys on the same fears of innocence lost and threats to American children. Throughout history, moral panics have cycled with surprising regularity, often tied to concerns about childrens safety. But whether these moral panics are associated with witchcraft or terrorism, one thing remains the same: we continue to repeat the same mistaken fears. The targets differ by year, but while the villains change with the decade, the tactics used to maneuver us toward those fears remain similar. Thankfully, ways to counter misinformation can be recycled as well. 3. We need shades of gray in a black-and-white world If youve heard of the drug kratom, youve likely heard one of two tales: Its either a life-saving miracle plant, or its the lethal new opioid killing teenagers. As a drug researcher, I must mentally prepare myself if someone brings this drug up in conversation because I will likely be fighting misinformation from both sides. Drugs are an easy target for rampant misinformation. The social program called D.A.R.E. (Drug Abuse Resistance Education) has maligned drugs across multiple generations of children, warning us that all drugs are bad. But on TikTok, we hear that the terpenes in cannabis can cure cancer, and melatonin will help put a stop to all your sleep problems. The problem with this type of thinking is that the answer is somewhere in between. Kratom can help people quit using other, more dangerous opioids. But kratom also has addictive qualities and, because its unregulated, almost anything can be packaged into the product. Kratom samples frequently test positive for heavy metals and even Salmonella. Humans tend to use an all or nothing mindset. Your nemesis is pure evil, and your best friend deserves the world. When we fear something, this distortion becomes even more extreme. Humans tend to use an all or nothing mindset. As a result, our fears prompt us to swing wildly in the opposite direction of flawed trends. The laissez-faire parenting of the past is seen in the present as neglectfuland so, parents swing toward what is called helicopter parenting, hovering over our childrens every move. But the best parenting is more likely somewhere in between, promoting independence but ending the custom of literally throwing your children into the deep end of the pool. Its easy to picture a political opponent as trying to destroy the country you love and your choice for the role as a savior. But most of life exists within those more ambiguous shades of gray. The more we paint things solely in black or white, the more we lose the nuance of the everyday. 4. The biggest problems are complex, but crucial Every summer over the past decade or so, we have continued to see new heat records set. We watch floods ravage cities and hurricanes inundate areas previously considered safe. We avert our eyes, not because we dont fear what our future is going to look like but because we feel helpless in the face of it. The things we really should fear the most are often the hardest to wrap ones head aroundproblems like climate change, systemic racial and gender inequality, childhood poverty, and domestic terrorism, to name a few. As individuals, its easy to ignore these problems becausein the first placewe dont think that we can contribute productively to the eventual solution. And itsoften painful to confront the behaviors of our own that contribute to these nightmarish scenarios, from the seemingly humdrum algorithmic echo chambers in which far too many of us now exist to the emotionally and economically expensive decisions we will likely have to make to try to fix them. But these big, systemic problems, many of which have continued to plague society for centuries, are what we now should focus on the most. 5. We believe what we see Across the world, rates of reliable types of birth control have plummeted, while more unreliable methods have begun to skyrocket. The horrors of hormonal birth control are shared between inboxes with no fact-checking in sight. Daysy, a fertility tracker app, became a leading example of the new face of contraception, supposedly protecting women from the evils of hormonal birth control while preventing pregnancy. But behind the curtain, the popular app that influencers promoted relentlessly turned out not to be as effective as originally touted, with the science backing it having been retracted from the original journal. Our fears dont merely guide our daily actions; they also sharply define some of the biggest questions we face across society. Many social media stories turn out to be misleading or dangerous. Scientists talk about Andrew Wakefields study falsely linking vaccines to autism as a warning because this original source of misinformation has snowballed out of control. But every day, even more falsehoods flood social media, sometimes benign but other times deadly. Doctors plead for people not to rely on the new trend of cough CPR as a method to treat a heart attackand yet, videos make the rounds, shared by millions without thinking of its risk. Social media algorithms are designed to feed you what you want to see, and we want to see things with which each of us agrees. Over time in an algorithmic silo, our views become more extreme, and we become more at risk of sticking to our siloed positions. All the while, misinformation slides from one person to another, across countries and friend groups, exposing us to more of our own particular views. Recognizing that our algorithms drive these anxietiesshaping who and what were afraid ofis the first step toward taking a hard look at your own consumption and counteracting its persuasion. Our fears dont merely guide our daily actions; they also sharply define some of the biggest questions we face across society. Its getting harder to know what we should be afraid of, particularly when our news and social media feeds are increasingly full of deep fakes and lurid sensationalism. Our biggest problems can seem all but impossible to solve, especially when were struggling with daily concerns like what type of food to buy or whether our space heater is dangerous. Even though our fears might be based on something primal, always remember that you are still in complete control of your behavior. Being informed, counteracting your own biases, and thinking critically about the world are crucial. Enjoy our full library of Book Bitesread by the authors!in the Next Big Idea App. This article originally appeared in Next Big Idea Club magazine and is reprinted with permission.
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For the first time in history, five generations are sharing the workplace. But grouping different generations under one roof doesnt have to cause friction. Sometimes it means unlikely friendships blossom. Me & someones dad 8 hours a day, TikTok creator @witchofwallstreet posted last week. In the video, the young financial planner and her older colleague are lip-synching to a remix of Nicki Minajs Beez in the Trap (featuring 2 Chainz) and 4 Non Blondes 1993 hit Whats Up? The video currently has over 13 million views. This lip-synch trend featuring these songs has been circulating online in recent weeks, but has now been taken up by coworkers to showcase their age-gap workplace friendships. Me and someones mom at our 9 to 5, another TikTok user posted, lip-synching to the same remix. Age gap friendships are my forte, she added in the caption. The comments are filled with others sharing fond memories of their unlikely workplace besties. At my first big girl job, I was 21 and my work bestie was 75, one wrote. Mary was the freaking best. Some videos overlay the text workplaces are experiencing major age gaps, followed by something like me and someones dad 8 hours a day. These major age gaps are primarily due to older workers remaining in the workforce longer than ever, either out of choice or economic necessity. A phenomenon called age similarity preference means that we often gravitate toward people of a similar age, including among our coworkers. However, an AARP survey found that nearly 4 in 10 adults have a friend whos 15 years older or younger, most often meeting through work. Having friends is important, no matter their age. About half of adults in the U.S. report feeling lonely, and 45% of workers reported feelings of loneliness at work, according to a new study from the accounting and advisory firm KPMG. Workplace friendships have tons of benefitsboth for the employee and the organization as a whole. Research has found that positive workplace relationships are not only beneficial for teamwork, career development, and building a sense of community, but they also help employees find more meaning in their work. Age-gap friendships have their own unique benefits, with fewer feelings of competition and pressure. Many have already named “girl dads” as the best bosses. Naturally, there are many things that boomers, millennials, and Gen Zers dont always see eye to eye onfrom how often to come into the office to the necessity of small talk. Yet, having much older or much younger friends at work can help break down negative stereotypes about different generations by revealing common interests. Even if that is filming TikToks on your lunch break.
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Every encounter with another person is an opportunity to shape that relationship. The first words out of your mouth are key in establishing the goodwill we all crave. Unfortunately, too often our opening lines damage that rapport. I once had a client who was at a conference and saw a board member she wanted to get to know. She walked up to him and blurted out, You look tired, have you been traveling? He replied, Why yes, Ive just flown in from China. She could see he was miffed by her negative comment. She admitted I dont know why I said that. It was a poor start to a relationship she hoped to develop. Below is a list of openers to avoid and suggestions for better choices. GREETINGS TO AVOID To begin with, steer clear of bland, clichéd questions that ask both too much and too little of the person youre speaking with. How are you?” This frequent greeting may be appropriate if youre sitting down for a long conversation with a good friend. There can be times when its a sign of empathy for a friend you know is going through some difficult times. But for pretty much anyone else, for casual acquaintances, or for colleagues in your office, avoid this greeting. People today are facing a host of difficulties. According to a recent report, 66% of people in todays workplace are grappling with some kind of job burnout. Meanwhile, 81% are afraid of losing their jobs. Others face issues at home. Would a colleague want to unpack their life in what is a casual or passing encounter? Not likely. So, the response is usually a nod or a cliché like, Not bad, or Okay. The person answering wont feel good about that cop out. Whats up? or SUP These greetings are common. They have the same overtones as, How are you? Only theyre slightly more flippant. Saying to someone What’s up? puts them in a position of either responding with a meaningless cliché (Not bad) or unpacking their life in what is typically a passing encounter. Few people want to do that. Hey! or Hay This is a poor choice because it is overly casual and offers nothing to the recipient. This greeting can feel offensive when directed to a friend, an acquaintance, or anyone who would expect you to offer some feeling of recognition or rapport. Saying Hey or Hay in fact borders on rudeness. My mother used to say Hay is for horses [not for humans]. Indeed this greeting creates no human connection. Also avoid greetings that carry negative baggage, and put the recipient on the defensive. Here are examples: You look tired, You dont look yourself today, or Having a rough day? These openings unintentionally insult the listener. It puts them on the defensive. If they are tired or down, you are asking them to confirm this negative assessment. If they feel better than you imply, you are demanding they defend themselves. You may think youre showing empathy, but really youre challenging the person youre speaking with. GREETINGS TO USE For a group, a friendly greeting is always appropriate. Hi [name]. Its nice to see you. When meeting someone, warm words, showing your appreciation of that person, provide an excellent start to a conversation. Using their name is another nice touch. Everyone wants to feel that someone enjoys being with them. Hi [name], thats a great tie. Everyone wants to feel that they look good! So, if someone does look good, greet them by commenting favorably on some aspect of their appearance, such as their tie. Or do a variation of it: I love your dress or that color really suits you!” You can even say I like your style. But beware that you dont comment on how attractive someone is, or that could be viewed as sexist. Congratulations on your new job. This is an excellent way to begin . . . as are work compliments of any kind. These would include happy to hear about your promotion . . . you deserve it or nice presentation at last weeks meeting. I loved reading your book. Everyone loves complimentsanother great way to go is compliment a recent accomplishment thats outside of work. Suppose youre meeting with someone who gave you a copy of their book. Theyll love hearing that you enjoyed the book. In the same way, say I loved seeing your latest article in Fast Company. Thank you for sending me those beautiful flowers. Showing gratitude for someones act of kindness is always a good idea and it provides an excellent opening to any conversation. Other such openings include (to a boss) thank you for joining our team at our recent retreat and (to a colleague) I appreciate the support youve given me in my new role. This list of greetings should alert you to the need for sensitivity in even the most casual comments. Think ahead and be kind. Everyone will cherish your sensitivity.
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